Isolation was somebody else's bad idea

10.30

From Off the Map

"This is what it means to be an adventurer in our day: to give up creature comforts of the mind, to realize the possibilities of imagination. Because everything around us says no you cannot do this, you cannot live without that, nothing is useful unless it's in service to money, to gain, to stability. The adventurer gives in to tides of chaos, trusts the world to support her - and in doing so turns her back on the fear and obedience she has been taught. She rejects the indoctrination of impossibility."

Wow

10.29

Have you seen this before?  Yes, he's holding his breath for the entire time.

If you've already seen that, this next part goes out to you.  Pretty appropriate for the season...

I don't want anything to do with that

10.28

The quote that I send you today is from a song by a French band called La Rue Kétanou. If you're at all into hippie French music with accordion accompaniment, look them up. They're pretty amazing.

The quote is as follows:

Il y en a qui travaille comme des fous 
pour se payer des clous 
à clouer sur leur feuille de vie 
mais la mort est sans bagages. 
Moi de tout cela je ne veux rien, les poches vides et le coeur plein d'amour.

(Somewhat loose) Translation:

There are those among us who work like crazy
to have the money to buy nails
to nail down the leaf that is their life
but death doesn't let you bring baggage.
I don't want anything to do with that, (I want) empty pockets and a heart full of love.

Beng, Beng, Beng, on the door baby...

10.27

Chuck Beng was sent to Fresno, California from the little town of Sega, Pahang in Malaysia at the relatively young age of 15 by his parents in 1991 to get a “good” education like his sister and to be with his 26 year old sister, Jenni, who was a successful anesthesiologist. Chuck didn’t get this at the time, but 11 years later, he kind of gets it. Jenni Beng married a Nebraskan metalworker in 1982 on a mission trip to the states 16 months prior. Though her parents hated him for his greasy goatee, Jenni thought it was kind of cute and loved his guts, as she said. Six months later after moving to Scottsbluff, Nebraska in 82, Jenni caught John in bed with some broad she remembered hearing about from his Thursday night cooking classes. She’ll always remember the smell of the artichokes in the air from that casserole they made together that night she came home from her night shift at Macy’s that she got out of early because she had Leo from menswear cover for her at women’s casual. Leo was “Mr. Sucker” as she said. Not because he was gullible (which he admittedly was), but because he was sweet like a sucker. It was a cultural disconnect that never corrected itself, as Leo was too sweet to say anything. So Jenni left Andy’s sorry greasy ass. He never deserved her anyway. She was genuinely heartbroken. The smell of cooked artichokes now makes her want vomit. Jenni Beng got into California State University, Fresno for pre-med. John, another co-worker at Macy’s was from Fresno and always talked about how there was no better place in the world. Jenny didn’t agree, but she was partial to Sega. She ended up get a B.S. in Chemistry in 2 years and moved on to get her M.D. 4 years later right there at CSU Fresno. Jenni welcomed Chuck with open arms.

The Beng house: http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&q=sega,+malaysia&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Sega,+Pahang,+Malaysia&ll=4.049013,101.896852&spn=0.164041,0.302811&z=12&layer=c&cbll=4.049013,101.896852&cbp=12,0,,0,5&photoid=po-22232185

Forging ahead

10.26

Friends, predictable as it may be, I have to share something Guster-related today. For this, I do not apologize. Most of you probably know the song "The Captain," so I decide to share it with a twist. The Captain is one of my favorite songs of all time, I find it musically awesome and inspirational. It's kind of kick ass. In any event, here is a little background on the evolution of "The Captain," it's a short episode of a series Guster created when they recorded their second-to-last album, Ganging up on the Sun. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSpcgAEH1ng

Are you in or out?

10.25

http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/10/25/1889729/for-love-of-the-game.html

This article is about the Miami Heat and the relationship between the players.  I'm a huge basketball fan, and I know I'm the only one* in paragraph who would consider themselves a bball fan but it is still an inspirational article. After all the craziness of this summer I was planning on blindly rooting against this team all season. 

However, this article speaks of the sacrifice everyone made to make this Super team happen, it talks about the respect between players and the family that is forming on the team.  To me, it all speaks to something that is rarely, if ever, seen in sports beyond a collegiate level. 

*editor's note, other people in paragraph club proclaimed themselves as bball fans, for the record

Give Peace & Summer a Chance

10.24

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." 

             -Albert Camus

And finally, this song (and video) really made my week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OWb65PI_eE

Franny & Zooey

10.22

Ok so I've been reading Franny and Zooey (this is a long time coming) and it's pretty good so far.  At first I was a little confused b/c I didn't understand how the two sections/chapters would fit together but I think I got it now.  To give you a little context to this quote, the character Zooey (nickname for Zachary) is reading a four year old letter from his second oldest brother while soaking in hot bath.  In the letter his brother is ranting about a lot of random things, the most important being the fact that their mother wants Zooey to stop acting and pursue a academic career (aka earn a PhD) like the rest of his older siblings have (including his brother that's writing the letter).  
Enough.  Act, Zachary Martin Glass, when and where you want to, since you feel you must, but do it with all your might.

Seeds and Soil

10.21.10

Friends,

You may not all like the below quote (or at least as much as I do), but, like it or not, I believe it'll make you think, which is really the point of all of this, no?  Totally aside from the fact that I (conveniently) want to live and raise my children abroad, I think if you take it less as a command to pick up and "plant" yourself somewhere else forever and ever and more as encouragement to do "test runs" of this planting, if you will, seeing other parts of the state/country/continent/world and feeling unaccustomed earth, then it holds true for most anybody that you are bound to flourish. And then maybe you don't need to stay, to strike your roots there, because you always bring back home with you part of the earth you've touched. Anyway, that's the end of my turn (knee slap). Thoughts?

"Human nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn-out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into...unaccustomed earth."

this is what happens

"“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
--Frederick Buechner, “Wishful Thinking: A Seeker’s ABC”

"one day you are certain of how things will be

and then you are bewildered, robbed of your glee,

this is what happens next, the curtains are drawn,

the stage of your life revealed but the script is now gone....

inspired, rewired, you'll calculate the steps.

each movement to the moment, an elaborate conquest.

this is what happens when you realize you're not in control."

much love to you all.

(it won't let me attach a file right now but here is a link to the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlplVRhC_h4 )

Chapter 2 and a dash of inspiration

10.20.10

"Excerpt from Ch. 2"

“Ok right. So because she wants to get coffee with you, that means she wants to fuck you.”

“No. That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“Woah. Ok no. I’m just saying that I think she is into me.”

“Ok. So there’s probably a 20% chance of that..”

“That’s it?”

“Well. There’s a 99.9% chance she just wants to get coffee with you….20% of that is she’s into you,”

“Wait ok. .. where’s the other 30?”

“No. Other 40. 100% of the ‘she’s into you 20%” is in the 99.9% of ‘she just wants to get fucking coffee.”

“Ok. So you’re basically saying that there is a .1% chance she wants to fuck me then?”

“No no no. Ok. ….What is with that myth that women just never want to fuck?  Don’t.. sell yourself short. I’d guess that at least 10% of the remaining 79.9% of the ‘she just wants to get coffee’ is ‘she just wants to get coffee, but she has happened to also think about doing naughty things with you’,”

“ok….so what is the other .1%?”

“Well. You’re forgetting what you originally said. I never said that it is absolutely untrue that by asking you for coffee she is trying to send you the message that she wants to fuck you. That could most definitely be true. Perhaps in her upbringing or her culture in a previous life, she was taught that the sacred coffee bean symbolizes sex and that by getting coffee with someone, she is telling them that you must do it. And or she could just have this crazy coffee fetish and like, this is a big deal for her to be getting coffee with you and she knows that she’s not even gonna be able to stop herself from jumping you right there….just spilling coffee everywhere. Burning. …And she likes the burning…These are all possibilities. There are probably even more that involve coffee as a direct message for sex, but I just can’t think of them. I would put all of those at something like .05%. …. ….You can round that up to .1”

If you've made the mistake of reading this far, I will treat you with a rare cherry on top. I am not usually one for the short inspirational quotes, but I feel like I need to step out of my comfort zone here. This is something that I just really love:

It is never too late to be whoever you want to be.

moments of infinity

10.19.10

Here is one of my favorite paragraphs in life. It's from "Perks of Being a Wallflower"

"After the song finished, I said something. “I feel infinite.” And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way.......After the dance, we left in Sam’s pickup. Patrick was driving this time. As we were approaching the Fort Pitt Tunnel, Sam asked Patrick to pull to the side of the road. I didn’t know what was going on. Sam then climbed in the back of the pickup, wearing nothing but her dance dress. She told Patrick to drive, and he got this smile on his face. I guess they had done this before. Anyway, Patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got to the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called “Landslide.” When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing.

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

In lieu of metaphysics....

10.17.10

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_laa6up00gH1qzpwi0o1_500.gif

A spot on the ground

10.15.10

I moved into a new desk last Thursday and my friend left a little zen flip calendar that you rip off each day.  I like Wednesday's quote the best so far.  Here it is:

'Be a spot on the ground where nothing is growing, where something might be planted, a seed, from the Absolute' 

                - Djalal ad-Din Rumi

Philosophical quotes about letting go

10.14.10

This week I have two quotes for you, unrelated, but I've come across both this week and am too indecisive this afternoon to choose. Although now that I look at it, they're both about letting go, albeit in very different ways. 
1) If you suffer, it is not because things are impermanent. It is because you believe things are permanent. Aware of impermanence, you become positive, loving and wise. Impermanence is good news. Without impermanence, nothing would be possible. With impermanence, every door is open for change. Impermanence is an instrument for our liberation. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
2) The sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky. – Hafiz

Your Dogs

10.13.10

"Your Dogs"

I see it
I get it
I promise you I do
Your mom walked out on you
When you were only two

You've grown up believing
That this country is a bore
Your a dad three times
And you're only twenty four

The Christians on the radio
They act like you're a scum
Self righteous congressmen
They're bastards each and every one

I don't read the bible
But I try to love you man
Every flaw and violent act
I think I understand

But your dogs
Your dogs
What's fun about those
The tat on your neck and the ring through your nose
The weed the junk food the violent pornography
Don't you think you want to be just a little more like me

I still have hopes
You can join our community
There's more of us than you
But we welcome the diversity
You're not quite trash like the other neighbors say
If you want to challenge stereotyping join the P.T.A.

At night when your pitbulls are scaring our children
My wife I'll be honest here wants me to shoot them
Sometimes I bet my fantasy is fun

But that's only at night when I'm not really thinking
And you're listening to Metallica in your backyard drinking
The rest of the time I think we get along fine
I've never judged you I'm a live and let live guy

But your dogs
Your dogs
What's fun about those
The tat on your neck and the ring through your nose
The weed the junk food the violent pornography
Don't you think you want to be just a little more like me

--Written by Nick Hornby and made musical by Ben Folds. Somehow, the lyrics are extremely Foldsian, though.

       I feel like there is something completely honest about this. Like a depressing honesty. 

Which do you think it is?

10.12.10

If we are spiritual beings on a human path rather than

human beings who may be on a spiritual path, then life is

not only a journey but a pilgrimage or quest as well.

       -Jean Shinoda Bolen

Icons

10.11.10

Part 1: "the underlying idea of the icon...is the manifestation of the hidden... The icon is not a picture...The icon is a grace and a life, A saving truth is not communicated by the word alone but by the fact of awakening vital forces of life, through the presentation of beauty." 

           - taken from the Byzantine Book of Daily Worship
Part 2: I have attached an image.  This is the icon of the Trinity by Rublev.   It's my favorite icon that I've come across and I hope the quote in part 1 can offer some insight as to why/how I can value an image like this. 

It's a Mystery

10.10.10

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature." 

         - Albert Einstein

Big Cities

"There are no more deserts. There are no more islands. Yet there is a need for them. In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion; in order to serve men better, one has to hold them at a distance for a time. But where can one find the solitude necessary to vigor, the deep breath in which the mind collects itself and courage gauges its strength? There remain big cities."

Albert Camus, The Minatour

Tension

10.7.10

"Some tension is necessary for the soul to grow, and we can put that tension to good use. We can look for every opportunity to give and receive love, to appreciate nature, to heal our wounds and the wounds of others, to forgive, and to serve." 

Joan Borysenko

Two-for-Tuesday

10.5.10

Part 1: 

"Letter from Camp"

Dear Mom,
I am having a(n) Super time at camp. The counselour is Earth-Shattering and the food isSmelly. I met Dwight K Schrute and we became Bellyaching friends. Unfortunately, Dwight K Schrute is Horrific and I Pretended my Leg so we couldn`t go Pulling like everybody else. I need more Moons and a Banana sharpener, so please Slyly Jump more when you Karate Chop back.
Your Brother, Pam Beasely

Who doesn't love mad libs? I certainly do, and I stumbled across this great site which takes the hard work out of mad-libbing.

Part 2:

I came across this quote quite serendipitously, and it just really resonated with me as I find myself feeling kind of weird with the weather change and all. Like I'm in limbo between something behind me and something in front of me, rather than just being where I am. 

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day. 

--Dalai Lama

Living the questions

10.4.10

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God..." (Deuteronomy 29:29a)


I like that I don't know everything and I like that I don't have to.  I find a great deal of comfort in knowing that God is bigger than anything I can figure out with my own mind, that some things are just mysterious and unexplainable.  In fact, I think it's this idea that gives me the most hope; even though the world seems really screwed up most of the time I have hope that God is bigger and that it won't always be this way. 

Bill Moyers Faith & Reason

10.3.10


Margaret Atwood (a favorite author of mine) on religion:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMrz_ivl8jo&p=1B895D284EDCBA1D&playnext=1&index=116

(That is Part 1. I encourage you to watch all three parts of the interview. Also, I guess the audio for Part 1 doesn't work on all computers...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmVD7XcRb6Y&feature=related   (part 2)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPDt73n7HD0&feature=related  (part 3)

Labors of love

10.2.10

my horoscope for last week, courtesy of the artvoice ( a free buffalo newspaper) & rob brezny (the writer):

“Artists suffer for their work, but they don’t mind,” read the headline in the San Francisco Chronicle. The attached article featured brief interviews with five artists who all said they enjoy doing their creative work so much that they gladly put up with the privations it causes them. That’s the spirit I’d like you to embrace in the coming weeks, Virgo. See if you can immerse yourself in a labor of love with so much enthusiastic devotion that you drive away some of your aches and anxieties.

Thanks for interacting

10.1.10

'Without you, todays emotions would be the scuff of yesterday's."

I think this is an awesome quote from a totally radical French movie (Amelie).  Today I was reminded of it because one of my friends is graduating and leaving our lab for bigger and better things (her going away party is tonight).  I'm really going to miss her because she brought so much to our lab/my cubicle.  The Amelie quote also reminds me of another montra that I heard about from one of the members of a band called The Books (the singer was quoting film editor/sound designer Walter Murch).  Merch basically says 'we are filters...in the blink of an eye, we take what effects us and redirect it'.  I totally agree with this but also think our filtery-ness also impacts our emotions and other senses.  Each person we interact with has an influence on who we are, how we think, and what actions we take.

Life

9.30.10

I went to a memorial service last night for my former boss and dear friend Cathy. The following quotes were in the program and, full of wisdom as she was, were just the things that she would have said if she were there. As per the first poem, I choose to believe that she was.
"When you awakened in the morning's hush,
I am the swift upifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand there at my grave and cry;
I am not there - I did not die."
- Buddhist funeral chant

and

"Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower." - Hans Christian Anderson

Excerpt from Chapter 11.2

9.29.10

“just go over one,”

“..There,”

“no, the other way,”

“This?”

“no,”

“I,”

“one more from that,”

“That one?”

“that’s good enough, that’s fine, you can click on that one first and just get back to the other one from later in this page if you want to,”

For no real reason, their voices were at a whispered murmur. They were so close that you could see their delicate breath dancing with each other on each exhale.

“there you go, you can see even further down that that was kind of what you were talking about..”

“Yeah, a little. I can just go back to the other one”

“no, if you keep going it eventually talks about what they did with the odorono and heinz bottles and all of that stuff.”

“Ok,”

“yeah, you got it,”

At this point, he could almost feel her heartbeat pushing out into the thin air between them. He wanted to feel it.

“Hmm,”

He quieted his thoughts in case she was absorbing them from his head.

“ahh,”

“Ow,”

“oh wait,”

He couldn’t move.

“What are you doing? What is that?”

“i don’t know,”

They both rolled their eyes upward and reached up to their heads. He could feel her hand fishing around up there and it was impossible to tell where his hair ended and her’s began. They were locked by the hair.

“What is that?”

“i don’t know,”

“What? How did that happen?”

“i don’t know..”

….

Hours disguised as seconds, they continued to awkwardly untangle themselves. He tried not to let on that he somehow enjoyed it as she seemed miffed. She was doing all the work, after all, she had the deft pianist fingers.

“Oh,”

“ok,”

“Just wait. I got this side,”

“that’s my side..or my head”

“I’m sorry,”

“no, don’t be sorry, I have no idea what’s going on or what you’re doing…and I’m definitely no help”

“No that’s ok, I think I got it,” She smiled out loud.

He could feel his heart going now.